As I heard news of yet another divorce back home I started to wonder about all the possible reasons there is such a high rate of divorce in the UK, particularly compared with Oman. Many questions have been arising in the UK surrounding the breakdown of the traditional nuclear family and the social effects this is having. Whilst I don't want to judge cases on an individual level, I do feel that as a whole the casual attitude people have developed towards marriage and divorce is having a detrimental effect on society.
I think that despite the disdain with which arranged marriage is looked upon in the West, perhaps there is something to be learned from it, or at least the attitudes that drive it. Here are some reasons I have come up with about why there are more successful marriages here (and I don't intend to show any bias to either side).
1) Religion; people who believe in the afterlife are usually more content with what they have in this life and Muslims strongly believe there is religious benefit in a good marriage. (This view could be supported by the correlation between religious affiliation and divorce rates in the UK.) There are those who don't have these beliefs, who would like to get the most enjoyment from life and are on the constant search for "happiness" which is often accompanied by a sort of 'the grass is greener on the other side' attitude.
2) Love; feelings are great but they are also changeable. If you expect to be passionately in love with your spouse for the rest of your life you are likely to, at one point or another, be disappointed. Traditional Omani marriages are not based on any Hollywood-induced idea of being in love. It is hoped that love will blossom over time but it is understood that the key to marriage is effort.
3) Bad examples; perhaps those who are surrounded with more divorce are more likely to get divorced themselves. They may have a lack of confidence in the success of marriage as well as less positive examples to look to.
4) Arranged marriages; they aren't always the outdated tradition they are portrayed as. If you are lucky to have good parents they will find a spouse who will suit you, have the same values and the same ambitions, which will help maintain a balanced relationship.
5) Maybe Omanis are just more inclined to settle?! More serious grounds for divorce such as adultery and violence are probably no less common here, but maybe people are more likely to look the other way or forgive.
6) In some cases here in Oman an unhappy marriage is dealt with by the man marrying a second wife. While this is certainly a way of avoiding divorce I'm not sure it's a valid one....
7) More kids: Omani families tend to be a lot bigger. When a couple are completely consumed with children they probably have no time for personal disagreements! ; )
Anyway I hope this post hasn't felt like a condemnation of divorce, but I do wholeheartedly believe in marriage and only feel sad that it can't work out for everyone.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Oman's Great Rep
Well it looks like Oman, this modest little nation, is gaining great credit internationally. An article in the New York Times written by columnist Nicholas Kristof praises Oman and the progress which has taken place here in the last 40 years. The article, titled "What Oman Can Teach Us" unreservedly criticises other nations, including the States, for not following Oman's example of gaining peace through putting more effort in the education and empowerment of the people.
In Oman education has been welcomed by all, but has not been at the expense of culture and tradition. This is certainly a reason why there is stability here. The reality is that Omanis (not to mention expats) have love for, and faith in Oman and their Sultan. There is a widespread drive to succeed, not just for the benefit of individuals but for the pride of the country. Also, the Sultan's efforts to maintain a peaceful relationship with other countries has earned favour both at home and abroad.
For more Oman-loving you can read Kristof's article here.
In Oman education has been welcomed by all, but has not been at the expense of culture and tradition. This is certainly a reason why there is stability here. The reality is that Omanis (not to mention expats) have love for, and faith in Oman and their Sultan. There is a widespread drive to succeed, not just for the benefit of individuals but for the pride of the country. Also, the Sultan's efforts to maintain a peaceful relationship with other countries has earned favour both at home and abroad.
For more Oman-loving you can read Kristof's article here.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
The end of a long long pause
It's been far too long since I wrote a post...I'm going to blame life and, well, Oman! There is so much going on and so much to see that it's easy to get distracted from more serious purposes. From the beautiful post-Khareef Salalah to Muscat finally getting cooler (only slightly). I shall appreciate the cooler weather by spending as much time outside as possible, now I have lived (and complained) through my first summer here. I watched Amal Maher perform at the Oman Auditorium a couple of weeks ago. Even without fully understanding the lyrics, it would be impossible not to enjoy her amazing voice and listening to a live Arabic orchestra for the first time was wonderful.
So there is a lot going on in Muscat in the coming months; National Day, Eid al Adha, Omani Women's Day (tonnes of writing material!) There are also a lot more performances at the Oman Auditorium. Personally, I'm hoping to catch the Antonio Najarro Dance Company perform the "Flamenco Oriental" in November. Apparently in the last Flamenco performance in September the auditorium was so full people were having to sit on the floor in the aisles! It's great that the performing arts are so enthusiastically received in Oman.
Oh and it's great news that six girls have been chosen to represent Oman at the Young Arab Entrepreneurs Competition in Morocco. Another triumph for females in the Sultanate!
So there is a lot going on in Muscat in the coming months; National Day, Eid al Adha, Omani Women's Day (tonnes of writing material!) There are also a lot more performances at the Oman Auditorium. Personally, I'm hoping to catch the Antonio Najarro Dance Company perform the "Flamenco Oriental" in November. Apparently in the last Flamenco performance in September the auditorium was so full people were having to sit on the floor in the aisles! It's great that the performing arts are so enthusiastically received in Oman.
Oh and it's great news that six girls have been chosen to represent Oman at the Young Arab Entrepreneurs Competition in Morocco. Another triumph for females in the Sultanate!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Responsible Eating
I've read a lot recently about the environmental effects of the production of our food, in particular meat. I thought this might be as good a time as any to mention the subject, it being Ramadan. This is a month we can dedicate to our conscience and a time when fasting should give us a more frugal attitude towards food.
The global consumption of meat has become a topic of concern among environmentalists and is something for us to think about here in Oman, which is a population of fervent meat-eaters. This will be brought further into context soon with Eid al-Adha on its way (the defining feature of this holiday being the slaughter of animals). Even on regular days red meat, which once would have been considered a luxury, and still is in many parts of the globe, is eaten frequently. For many families it would be considered bad hospitality not to serve such an excessive amount of meat to guests that they would barely be able to make an impression in it (forgive me for generalising, I'm sure its not universally the case).
Besides the well-known health risks of consuming too much read meat, there are some really startling environmental factors. Meat production requires vast amounts of water and grain and the animals' waste is pollutant (cow manure emits methane and nitrous oxide). For the grain alone,huge areas of the world's rain forests have had to be destroyed. The production of beef produces 24 times the amount of greenhouse gases as vegetables. Apparently, 12,000 gallons of water is required to produce one pound of beef, compared with 60 for the same weight in potatoes. And its not just industrial-sized confined factories; free-range meat has the same requirements but also needs substantial amounts of space.
I may seem like some ranting vegetarian but I'm not, I just believe in valuing moderation, not excess. The world's population is bursting along with its consumption, and a little moderation would definitely go a long way. I think the shocking stats are a deterrent enough (although if that doesn't do it the talk about methane certainly does).
Its not looking so tasty now is it?!
The global consumption of meat has become a topic of concern among environmentalists and is something for us to think about here in Oman, which is a population of fervent meat-eaters. This will be brought further into context soon with Eid al-Adha on its way (the defining feature of this holiday being the slaughter of animals). Even on regular days red meat, which once would have been considered a luxury, and still is in many parts of the globe, is eaten frequently. For many families it would be considered bad hospitality not to serve such an excessive amount of meat to guests that they would barely be able to make an impression in it (forgive me for generalising, I'm sure its not universally the case).
Besides the well-known health risks of consuming too much read meat, there are some really startling environmental factors. Meat production requires vast amounts of water and grain and the animals' waste is pollutant (cow manure emits methane and nitrous oxide). For the grain alone,huge areas of the world's rain forests have had to be destroyed. The production of beef produces 24 times the amount of greenhouse gases as vegetables. Apparently, 12,000 gallons of water is required to produce one pound of beef, compared with 60 for the same weight in potatoes. And its not just industrial-sized confined factories; free-range meat has the same requirements but also needs substantial amounts of space.
I may seem like some ranting vegetarian but I'm not, I just believe in valuing moderation, not excess. The world's population is bursting along with its consumption, and a little moderation would definitely go a long way. I think the shocking stats are a deterrent enough (although if that doesn't do it the talk about methane certainly does).
Its not looking so tasty now is it?!Thursday, August 19, 2010
Iftar at the Chedi
Since coming to Oman I have become somewhat of a connoisseur of restaurants and cafes (well perhaps connoisseur is stretching it a bit). The variety of cuisines available around Muscat means you will never be bored...or hungry. For someone who does most of the cooking at home, there is not much more appealing than dinner outside. During Ramadan particularly, a lot of time and the little energy one has is spent in the kitchen preparing for Iftar and then cleaning up afterwards. The thought of just once in a while having all of this done for you is quite wonderful.
One of my new favourite places to have a treat in Muscat has to be The Chedi, where I spent Iftar recently. For those who haven't been, The Chedi is a modestly luxurious hotel along the beachfront in Boushar. I say modest because the drive leading up to the hotel would not convince you that there is a multi-award winning hotel at the end of it. Anyone who has seen the traditional Omani-inspired architecture and interior of the hotel will agree that it is beautiful.
The restaurant itself is so attractive and has so many interesting features we found ourselves spotting new things we liked about it all night. The service was one of the highlights of the night. And that's not to say the food was bad, just that the service was exceptionally good. Our waiter was attentive to the point where he escorted us to the lobby after our meal and brought us coffee.
The food itself was delicious (well not much isn't after a day of fasting), well presented and well timed. The Iftar set menu included five courses, including a selection of juices at the start. The jallab was my favorite which was a mixture of peach and rose-water. In line with tradition, dates and laban were already on the table ready for the moment of breaking fast. This was followed by a light lentil soup and cold and hot mezze. A much needed pause....then the main. Mixed grill (nice and charcoaled) and hammour fillets. The fish was so good we asked for extra, which of course the waiter happily obliged. Followed by another pause and a breather outside, and then fresh fruit and Arabic sweets for dessert. All of this with the accompaniment of a pianist.
If there was one thing I had to find fault in its the dessert, which seemed a little unimaginative. But to be honest I was so full at that point I couldn't have eaten much anyway.
One of my new favourite places to have a treat in Muscat has to be The Chedi, where I spent Iftar recently. For those who haven't been, The Chedi is a modestly luxurious hotel along the beachfront in Boushar. I say modest because the drive leading up to the hotel would not convince you that there is a multi-award winning hotel at the end of it. Anyone who has seen the traditional Omani-inspired architecture and interior of the hotel will agree that it is beautiful.
The restaurant itself is so attractive and has so many interesting features we found ourselves spotting new things we liked about it all night. The service was one of the highlights of the night. And that's not to say the food was bad, just that the service was exceptionally good. Our waiter was attentive to the point where he escorted us to the lobby after our meal and brought us coffee.
The food itself was delicious (well not much isn't after a day of fasting), well presented and well timed. The Iftar set menu included five courses, including a selection of juices at the start. The jallab was my favorite which was a mixture of peach and rose-water. In line with tradition, dates and laban were already on the table ready for the moment of breaking fast. This was followed by a light lentil soup and cold and hot mezze. A much needed pause....then the main. Mixed grill (nice and charcoaled) and hammour fillets. The fish was so good we asked for extra, which of course the waiter happily obliged. Followed by another pause and a breather outside, and then fresh fruit and Arabic sweets for dessert. All of this with the accompaniment of a pianist.
If there was one thing I had to find fault in its the dessert, which seemed a little unimaginative. But to be honest I was so full at that point I couldn't have eaten much anyway.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Ramadan Kareem
Ramadan Kareem everyone!
This is a particularly special Ramadan for me because it is my first in Oman. And whilst I have some reservations about how I will cope with the unfamiliar heat while fasting, I am looking forward to it. The idea of observing Ramadan along with my (Omani) family, and even the whole country, is a great feeling and I'm keen to see all of the Ramadan conventions that for those who have lived here a long time are just routine. For example, I was pleased to learn that restaurants and many shops comply with fasting hours by closing during the day so that even those not observing Ramadan will give it some thought.
In my experience non-Muslims have often expressed their aversion to the idea of fasting for a whole month. But what they are not grasping is the fact that Ramadan represents so much more than just not eating. It is a time for spiritual reflection, attentiveness to faith and charity, and for paying tribute to Allah's grace, from which we have so much, though it doesn't have to be so. Of course it would be ideal to apply this all year round but I'm certain that for most people, life just becomes overwhelming. This is the purpose of this special month.
I hope this Ramadan is peaceful, productive, and painless for everyone!
This is a particularly special Ramadan for me because it is my first in Oman. And whilst I have some reservations about how I will cope with the unfamiliar heat while fasting, I am looking forward to it. The idea of observing Ramadan along with my (Omani) family, and even the whole country, is a great feeling and I'm keen to see all of the Ramadan conventions that for those who have lived here a long time are just routine. For example, I was pleased to learn that restaurants and many shops comply with fasting hours by closing during the day so that even those not observing Ramadan will give it some thought.
In my experience non-Muslims have often expressed their aversion to the idea of fasting for a whole month. But what they are not grasping is the fact that Ramadan represents so much more than just not eating. It is a time for spiritual reflection, attentiveness to faith and charity, and for paying tribute to Allah's grace, from which we have so much, though it doesn't have to be so. Of course it would be ideal to apply this all year round but I'm certain that for most people, life just becomes overwhelming. This is the purpose of this special month.
I hope this Ramadan is peaceful, productive, and painless for everyone!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Impressive Dresses
I am going to use this post to honour a new love of mine...the Dhofari thobe. The Dhofari Thobe is, to those that don't know, a very loose-fitting dress with the back trailing and the front being approximately shin-height. It is teamed with a lossi (a big rectangle of fabric worn over the head) and sometimes a pair of leggings, called Sarwal. I'm sure other styles of Omani thobe are just as nice but as my family is Dhofari, Dhofari thobes are what I wear.
There are many reasons why this ensemble is so amazing. It's very feminine and elegant being so flowy and trailing. It is available in any material you like, for every single occasion. For example, wedding thobes are usually in velvet with intricate embroidery and crystals on. Beautiful silk thobes are often worn for occasions and my favourite for everyday is cotton or this stretchy heavy fabric (I'm not sure what it's called so maybe someone else can tell me).
With thobes you don't have to worry whether you are a size 10 or a size 18 because they are very loose fitting and don't display all your lumps and bumps. They are also nice and cool to wear. But their most economical feature is that they are cheap (I'm mostly talking about the everyday ones now). It's refreshing to see that those who are wealthy go to the same shops and buy the same 3 Rial thobe and lossi set that those who are poorer do. Ideally, you can just have a small selection of thobes in different colours and then just keep buying different lossi's...for 1 Rial each! My first shopping trip to the street in Salalah where all the thobe shops are (I know it as Al Gharbiya) was heaven!
I must just mention one drawback...the Dhofari thobe doesn't appear to be intended for those who are particularly active. I have struggled to achieve household chores while wearing one, constantly sucking up a corner in the vacuum cleaner or tripping over the tail. And I have nightmares about setting myself on fire while cooking. But they are so very pretty....
There are many reasons why this ensemble is so amazing. It's very feminine and elegant being so flowy and trailing. It is available in any material you like, for every single occasion. For example, wedding thobes are usually in velvet with intricate embroidery and crystals on. Beautiful silk thobes are often worn for occasions and my favourite for everyday is cotton or this stretchy heavy fabric (I'm not sure what it's called so maybe someone else can tell me).
With thobes you don't have to worry whether you are a size 10 or a size 18 because they are very loose fitting and don't display all your lumps and bumps. They are also nice and cool to wear. But their most economical feature is that they are cheap (I'm mostly talking about the everyday ones now). It's refreshing to see that those who are wealthy go to the same shops and buy the same 3 Rial thobe and lossi set that those who are poorer do. Ideally, you can just have a small selection of thobes in different colours and then just keep buying different lossi's...for 1 Rial each! My first shopping trip to the street in Salalah where all the thobe shops are (I know it as Al Gharbiya) was heaven!
I must just mention one drawback...the Dhofari thobe doesn't appear to be intended for those who are particularly active. I have struggled to achieve household chores while wearing one, constantly sucking up a corner in the vacuum cleaner or tripping over the tail. And I have nightmares about setting myself on fire while cooking. But they are so very pretty....
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